First of all, blogger has been down for the last four days and it has been making me mad. It's not that I particularly wanted to post anything, it's just that the fact that it wasn't letting me made me insane. It reduced me to a sad pathetic human that could only sit at my desk and click 'refresh' with increasing intensity until I got hungry or fell asleep. I know, I lead a scintillating life.
There is also a story about me running through my house naked and covered in olive oil, but you will have to bribe me to get that one out of me. Even though my stats say that you are all so obsessed with genitals that you viewed my last post sixty times a day. I have to say that if that is your cup of tea then there are many other websites that you can visit for that kind of thing... (please don't leave me.)
Anyway, this post is called '10 hours' because I have been singing for approximately 10 hours today. Be impressed. I went to Rob's at 8 this morning, after catching a bus to the middle of no-where, where he lives, and panicking because a strange man sitting behind me winked at me repeatedly and it was early and the bus driver was a miserable old git who wouldn't lift his head if I was molested. I was very close to turning around and yelling "I WILL NOT BE YOUR CHILD BRIDE", but rational thoughts got the better of me and so I sat there passive-aggressively glaring at everything and giving off rape-proof vibes. But he got off at the top of a hill, after winking at me again, and so I tried to breathe like a normal person again and not... something that breathes very fast. (not sure what analogy I was going for there...) That did set the tone for the rest of the journey though, and from then on every tree hid a rapist, behind every building was a murderer and the bus driver was psychotic and at some point going to rip off his clothes, raise his hands to the sky, shout some crazy prayer and drive us off a cliff.
You know what they say - just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not trying to kill you.
THE POINT IS that we recorded a lot of cool things INCLUDING the song I wrote!! It will be up on our myspace soon (yes, I know, myspace is lame, move on with your life).
We also video recorded some stuff, which is being uploaded as we speak. Or you read. Like THIS.
The quality looks like the camera was very very drunk, but apparently youtube fixes it over time. We shall see.
ALSO, we submitted our Woodford entry forms!!! YEE-HA.
Sorry, I am a cowboy at heart. Point is that forms are completed like completed things on completing pills. My similes are failing today.
I am seeing Katy Perry tomorrow. I have mentioned this before, but it needs mentioning again, because I very rarely do cool things. You would know.
Update on the Galaxy-vendetta: I went to the Optus shop to ask the Optus man about it and he demonstrated his competence by looking baffled then going to a computer, googling it and asking if I'd restarted it. RAGE. NO, you spiky-haired fail of a person, NO. I would have kicked him in the throat, but he deserved much worse. Like paper cuts and lemon juice. Yeah, it hurts just thinking about it.
Fuckwittage, why is the world so full of it? I have a theory that as generations get more stupid, they generate more fuckwittage which fills up the world, thus creating a great buildup of it, and this is what is ruining the ozone layer and melting the penguins, etc. I hope you know that if I was God, there would be no fuckwittage, only love and cake.
HAHAHAH, I was looking up ways to say goodbye, because ten hours of singing has rotted my brain too much to think of anything but the very boring 'bye', and I found this:
May you never have your soul absorbed into the Netherworld by a power-hungry televangelist
and
May you never drown in a vat of monkey semen.
Genius and hilarity abounds. If we had more people like this, the fuckwittage crisis would no longer be an issue.
i love you besfriend
ReplyDeletexoxo y