Genitals, in general

 Note: this post is not as PG as usual. 



Dear creator of the Samsung Galaxy S,


You fuckwit, I will kick you in the throat.

Why would you make it impossible to sync with iTunes? What happened to you that made you so bitter? Did your mother not love you enough? No wonder, you miserable cow.


Sincerely,

Me.


Apart from the fact that I am at war with this stupid piece of technology, funny stuff has been happening to me recently.

FIRSTLY, and most recently, I just unintentionally had a whole conversation with my mum and brother about genitals.

Mum: Greg's doing a study on haemophilia, can you tell him anything about it?

Me: Well, yes... we did this in psychology.

Mum: Well isn't it something to do with genes?

Me: Um, well it's a gene mutation, but not genetic... it's pretty rare.

Mum: No, 1/5000 people have it!

Me: wow... that's... a lot. You'd think people would notice more.

Mum: Well there's a movie about Russian heirs to the throne escaping in the time of the Bolsheviks and        
           the one son had a lot of trouble because he was so ill from it.

Me: I don't think it makes you ill, necessarily. Just confused, I guess.

Mum: what? He couldn't stop bleeding!

Me: WHAT.

Mum: what are you talking about?

Me: Um, hermaphroditism.

AS IT TURNS OUT, haemophilia is a blood clotting disorder. WHO KNEW? It also turns out that people with haemophilia only have one set of genitals. WHO KNEW?


Second funny thing that happened was that in life drawing class, the model came in, took off all her clothes and pranced around a bit, much to our surprise, because she's not meant to be nude. There was also a crowd of very intrigued ten-year-olds in the class next to us looking through the window. Well at least their parents will be able to spare them the facts-of-life talk now...

This was a very genitals-orientated post, apart from the throat kicking bit above. What can you do, sometimes genitals just spring up in conversation and you just have to grin and bear it and possibly enjoy it. Que sera sera.

Another thing that annoyed me (moving away from genitals), is that the guy who made the Mr Men and Little Miss books got on google's homepage. How did he do that?? It is my ultimate goal to be remembered by google every ten years after my death. Not fair that some children's author can get on it, how hard is it to add Mr or Little Miss to an adjective and then draw a picture? NOT HARD AT ALL, is the answer. I will invent something very amazing and then be remembered on google for ever more. Watch this space.

Tally ho.