Greetings from De End of De Eart

So I lied. It hasn't been two weeks, but I snuck onto mums iPad because when I am without you lot I shrivel and die like the Wicked Witch of the West. LOL JK, Elphaba is cool. That was dorky. I appologise. I also appologise for saying "dorky". I am unsure why living in a chasm of trees and loneliness has catapulted me into a world where I am Screech in Saved By The Bell, and let's face it, quirky and sexually frustrated as he was, he was never the cool one. Everyone wanted to be Slater. But now, as some wonderful form of karma, he is now presenting crappy dance tv shows, wearing high waisted blue jeans and probably taking a lot of drugs. I would, if the Powers That Be forced me to wear that amount of hair gel. Ah justice. 90s memorabilia aside, I am indeed in the realm of Dangerous Australian Animas & Co., which includes but is not limited to Crocodiles Sharks Snakes Golden Orb Spiders (as big as my hand, with golden pincers, if you were curious) Other miscellaneous spiders Electric ants Stinging trees Cassowaries If you live in a safe, mundane part of the world, I should explain what cassowaries are. They are giant blue-necked, ostrich-like things with sharp claws and a big boney horn coming out of their heads. They are very aggressive. I do not joke. However, I am not yet dead. Hurrah. And I went on a cool snorkeling thing in the barrier reef today, which was awesome. I felt like I was LITERALLY PART OF NEMO-LAND. Exciting moments included lots of very vibrant fish, a manta ray, minor spluttering and choking because I am not skilled enough to breathe and swim at the same time, and meeting a friendly German lady. What else has happened in the world of me? Well, after meeting about a bajillion students who had been traveling the world, feeding themselves on $20 a day and having one long and colorful party with other hipster students, it is now my desire to hire a camper van and spend my live with it and be happy. I also had several run ins with the elderly hippie folk of Mossman Valley, who wear tye dye tunics and ride Harley Davidsons. One woman's breasts were literally hanging by her hips. I was partially repulsed and partially impressed by her freedom of spirit, especially in regard to her aging body, which is a gift from he, she or it that reins above and is completely natural and nothing to be ashamed of, particularly regarding her womanly funbags. Part of me is under the impression that I am missing all sorts of fun and secret parties at home, and it is killing me slowly and painfully. I hate missing out on things. If you want to torture me for drugs, information or candy, lock me in a room and sound like you're having fun outside. I will crack. Like a three minute egg. I probably should not have told you that. You could be a psycho killer, or overzealous real estate agent. Enough. I will retire to my humble abode (the sofa of our apartment, since my brother snores like darth vader having a stroke) and ponder the eccentricities and adversities of the world, such as a lapiscopic cholecystectomy. I am a fraud. I just got that term off my dad. It means gall bladder surgery. You learnt something new today. You're welcome. Until later, mes petits souris, Fun fact: the french, when terminating letters, often affectionately say "grosses bises", which translates to FAT KISSES

Cairns

I'm leaving you, Brisbane, for somewhere hotter. It's not you, it's me.






~You will have to cope without me for two weeks~
~Don't take it personally~

Emerge was supercool

Yes, in case you weren't sick of hearing about it, and I hope you weren't.

It was a truly amazing experience! So much fun and a lot of 'firsts' for The Outcasts Of, especially being interviewed! There will be official photos and videos to come, but for now there are only a few screenshots I snatched from my home videos.

Thanks so much for everyone who came and was awesome. You all were. A special thank you to the wonderful ladies who sat at the front and winked at me at every occasion, you lot were wonderful and I love you dearly (you butter my muffin... shut up Anna). Another big thank you to everyone who set up, helped out and was awesome. You helped us to make funkification on the highest level. Sorry for that That's So Raven quote.

So here are some pictures.

IT WAS AWESOME. 

EMERGE IS COMING

FIRE! PANIC IN THE STREETS! BEG, BORROW OR STEAL. YOU MUST BE THERE.

I sound like an eager Rapture believer. Not sure which religion it actually is - Jehova's Witness maybe? Is there an apostrophe in Jehova's?
Ah the Rapture. It should inspire awe and fear, but it has become a teensy bit of a joke. I feel kind of sorry for the people who genuinely believe it and are being laughed at right now from every corner of the globe. I would say believe what you like! Run free and love everyone, peace and harmony dude! like I usually do, but it's kind of hard for everyone to believe what they like when that includes the end of the world. Because the end of the world either happens, or it doesn't. There isn't much room for to each his own in that. Maybe the Rapture-nese deserve all the gloating. Or are they all in heaven by now? Apparently, we are all meant to be experiencing hell on earth now, and for the next five months. I have to say, if these is hell on earth, it's totally cool. If this is hell on earth, I am obviously born to be a demon, because I'm having a pretty good time.
Note: the Rapture makes me think of this:

Dinosaurs are freaking terrifying. I am so glad they are no longer with us. Look at this!!

That is a fooken scary beast! They are not cuddly, by any means.
Confession: while scrolling through google images to find raptor pictures and seeing lots of cute cartoons, I saw that and nearly shat myself. Just saying.

ANYWAY. Rapture.
To sum up, here is a chatty English fellow.

I don't think I am a bad person. I'm not a fantastic person - well, I am fantastic in many ways, but not in ways that feed homeless people or smile at puppies. I am not on first-name terms with Ziggy the Bagman who lives near my school, apart from calling him Ziggy the Bagman, I mean. What I mean to say is that we don't exactly tell secrets and braid each other's hair. POINT IS, while I think I'm pretty awesome, I am not the kind of God-loving, God-fearing awesome that I think is a prereq for getting into the place upstairs. I don't particularly want to get to the place upstairs. Especially because hell on earth is so good. Anyway, not being pious or even indie enough to wear crosses everywhere, even the ones that have some weird affiliation with Lady Gaga, I have never troubled myself with matters of the universe or it's sudden lack of existing.
BUT THEN, THIS appeared to me!!!!

It was before a Youtube video, where they usually show ads for shampoo or tampons. With these ads, they usually specialize them for the demographic, e.g. they see what videos you watch, and suit the ads to that, based on your age, gender, etc.

I'M SORRY WHAT. What could I have possibly done or watched to make them send me this?? Not only a sinner, but a Jewish sinner, who has no interest in becoming Christian. WHAT.

Obviously I am meant to be saved. Come and get me Jesus. Rawr.

ANYWAY, it's a scary video! It's intense! Not just please believe in God. Please. PLEASE. like usual, but actual YOU'RE GONNA DIE, BITCHES. 
It's scary.

EMERGE and Irrelevant Umbrellas

YES, The Outcasts Of are playing at Emerge, a local indie-band show, next weekend. How very exciting. Please check facebook for an invite.
We wrote a new original! And covered many awesome musicians, including the wonderful sex-god, John Mayer. I am going to be bitchy and not post these new songs up on soundcloud, youtube or similar, because I would very much like you to come and hear them LIVE at Emerge. Do it.

We also played last week at a friend's freak-themed party. Very fun and wild and crazy. As is my life.

I am wrapped in CAUTION tape, a la Gaga. 

Also, on the way to Rob's place today, which took about fifty hours because he lives somewhere around the equator, there were lots of odd people out to play. 

I will add that this is the same bus as the winking-child-bride-man incident. 

Weird people included two guys in ripped jeans who had a whole conversation consisting of "mdfffyeahmmfffhhmm" and grunts, lots of elderly ladies in weird hats, a bus driver who welcomed me with "Kate! Climb aboard!" and ... wait for it... THE IRRELEVANT UMBRELLA. 

It was not raining today. It was not threatening to rain today. It was sunny, but not hot because a) it is winter and b) it was 9 a.m. There was not a glare. 

WHY WERE YOU HOLDING AN UMBRELLA OVER YOUR HEAD, SMALL ASIAN WOMAN? WHY? 

There was no rain! Or sun! WHAT. 

Also, we stopped off at a garage sale and I bought a typewrite! For $2! SCORE. I have no idea how to use it, but it's awesome. 

I bought a picnic basket too, complete with checkered table cloth and everything. So I was walking through the city holding a massive flowery bag full of cables and microphones, a type-writer and a picnic basket. I actually quite enjoyed the looks I got from people. I felt even indie-er than Zooey Deschanel, Angus Stone and this guy. 

Cool.