I sound like an eager Rapture believer. Not sure which religion it actually is - Jehova's Witness maybe? Is there an apostrophe in Jehova's?
Ah the Rapture. It should inspire awe and fear, but it has become a teensy bit of a joke. I feel kind of sorry for the people who genuinely believe it and are being laughed at right now from every corner of the globe. I would say believe what you like! Run free and love everyone, peace and harmony dude! like I usually do, but it's kind of hard for everyone to believe what they like when that includes the end of the world. Because the end of the world either happens, or it doesn't. There isn't much room for to each his own in that. Maybe the Rapture-nese deserve all the gloating. Or are they all in heaven by now? Apparently, we are all meant to be experiencing hell on earth now, and for the next five months. I have to say, if these is hell on earth, it's totally cool. If this is hell on earth, I am obviously born to be a demon, because I'm having a pretty good time.
Note: the Rapture makes me think of this:
Dinosaurs are freaking terrifying. I am so glad they are no longer with us. Look at this!!
That is a fooken scary beast! They are not cuddly, by any means.
Confession: while scrolling through google images to find raptor pictures and seeing lots of cute cartoons, I saw that and nearly shat myself. Just saying.
ANYWAY. Rapture.
To sum up, here is a chatty English fellow.
I don't think I am a bad person. I'm not a fantastic person - well, I am fantastic in many ways, but not in ways that feed homeless people or smile at puppies. I am not on first-name terms with Ziggy the Bagman who lives near my school, apart from calling him Ziggy the Bagman, I mean. What I mean to say is that we don't exactly tell secrets and braid each other's hair. POINT IS, while I think I'm pretty awesome, I am not the kind of God-loving, God-fearing awesome that I think is a prereq for getting into the place upstairs. I don't particularly want to get to the place upstairs. Especially because hell on earth is so good. Anyway, not being pious or even indie enough to wear crosses everywhere, even the ones that have some weird affiliation with Lady Gaga, I have never troubled myself with matters of the universe or it's sudden lack of existing.
BUT THEN, THIS appeared to me!!!!
It was before a Youtube video, where they usually show ads for shampoo or tampons. With these ads, they usually specialize them for the demographic, e.g. they see what videos you watch, and suit the ads to that, based on your age, gender, etc.
I'M SORRY WHAT. What could I have possibly done or watched to make them send me this?? Not only a sinner, but a Jewish sinner, who has no interest in becoming Christian. WHAT.
Obviously I am meant to be saved. Come and get me Jesus. Rawr.
ANYWAY, it's a scary video! It's intense! Not just please believe in God. Please. PLEASE. like usual, but actual YOU'RE GONNA DIE, BITCHES.
It's scary.
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